dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
