i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
