yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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