Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
