I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
