you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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