So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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