I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
