We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
