Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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