I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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