He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
