Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
