STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
