So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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