i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
