Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
