I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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