if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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