Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
