Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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