Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just puked most of my soul out..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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