My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i out mim tonsoeep
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