everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
