we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
