There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
