im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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