Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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