Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize