i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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