i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
