Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize