I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
