Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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