God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
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On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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