My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
