Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
