just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
