I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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