The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
