Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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