Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
4 words: hood of his car
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I had to cum in my sink.
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