honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
