Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
