I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
