What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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