"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
