you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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