Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
