I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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