I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
