If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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