Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
