he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
