did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
