Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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