That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she smelled like a LAN party
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
