he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
