The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
